Just after the kids finally sleep, there is that moment I realize I will not hear "mom, can you shut out my light, " "don't forget to wake me up 15 minutes early," "what was that, you are watching tv without us?!". When the stillness settles around me, I begin my life without them. And yet they are there, in those moments just after. I listen for footsteps, or doors, I don't want to get caught by my kids doing what I do in the hours I have sent them to sleep.
I go to an "inappropriate site"on the internet and hope not to get busted. If the phone rings, I answer it like I'm asleep. When I snack, I wash out the bowl and wipe counters.
I'm not up to anything yet, just by living a life after they sleep, I feel like I'm cheating.
Just being online, or reading a novel or sipping tea at 11:05 feels like a forbidden pleasure.
Before I had kids, I had to work so much harder for that sense- this is bad, therefore it must be-feel-taste really good. Now, all I have to is be awake after they sleep and watching something HBO.
I'm such a dangerous girl.
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